Tuesday, February 10, 2009

I wonder...

We’re about 42 hours to take-off. I’m really freaking out. My brain is going a million miles a minute and everything feels urgent. My dad is coming in from Pennsylvania tonight to take the dogs. We’ll see them again on February 28. I get teary just thinking about how much I’m going to miss those crazy beasts. They are always happy to see me, no matter what my mood or appearance. It’s pure unconditional love and I’m going to miss them terribly.
It’s overwhelming to think about how drastically our life is about to change. Sometime between 10:30 and 11:00 a.m. on February 16 it’ll be instant parenthood. Ready or not. I think we’ve been prepared for the worst case scenario but I just don’t know. All three of us are going to be in a very new type of existence. John and I understand that, but I’m worried for Stanzi. We’re about to turn her world upside down. Of course we know it’s for the best, but she has no way of knowing that. Everything is going to be new to her. Baths, diapers, certain foods, toys, planes, airports, cars, car seats, our house and, of course, two very rambunctious dogs. I wonder how long before it all seems normal to her? I wonder how long before she loves us?


  1. Oh..PLEASE stop worrying, and lokk at this as an exciting journey instead! Although it is easier said than done, it IS all in God's hands, and no amount of worrying is going to change things.
    Is life going to change drastically?? HECK yeah, but all for the better!!
    You and your hubby should go out for a nice quiet dinner tonight! It will be the last for awhile! LOL! I'm thinking of you! This is going to be one awesome journey!!

  2. Parenthood is full of ups and downs; even the struggles can be beautiful. Yes, things will be new to her, but look at it this way: ALL babies are introduced to these new experiences sometime, whether they are 3 days old or 10 months old. Babies are the most resilient creatures in the world... Your daughter will know right away that you are someone who is going to be very important to her. As she deals with all these new experiences, be there for her. She may be scared, but she may be curious and happy about the changes. After all, she's going to have two adults focusing their attention just on her! Not sharing one adult with 15 other babies. Be excited; be happy; be nervous; and remember it all... it's over all too quickly and before you know it, you'll be looking at a six year old child wondering how time could possibly go so fast.

    Good luck on your journey. Enjoy it!!

  3. Everything will turn out ok. Worrying is something understandable; there are big changes ahead for everybody. However, the outcome of these changes will be a FAMILY, and there is nothing more precious than that.

    The dogs will miss you, of course, but it will all be worthwhile when they give their unconditional love ALSO to the little one...

    Good luck!

  4. You will be traveling with Zhou. He will make travel seamless. As far as your life changing, you bet! I dragged my husband screaming and kicking into parenthood. He looked at me the other night while watching our daughter playing in the floor and said, "Thank You". We kept her on her schedule while in China. That meant we didn't get breakfast because she was a late sleepter, but I packed food. It will be fine. If you need anything at all, Zhou will take care of it. Good luck and have a wonderful time. Oh, take a disposible camera just in case. Mine broke in Beijing.

  5. John’s grandfather was down to his last year – and I was sitting in his living room looking at him. “Thinking back over your life” I asked “what were the best of times for you?” It may surprise you both, but I really didn’t have any idea how he’d answer that question. And it took him a very long time of deep thought, which was quite telling, before he said “I suppose that the brief periods between times of serious worries were the best times for me.”

    How sad, I thought.

    Raising kids is serious stuff, of course. And you worries are certainly a good sign – for most young people simply find themselves parents without giving parenthood a lot of thought.

    Should John ever ask me that question, I’d have to say that the times we had together were the best of times. Now don’t think that I haven’t been a worrier – believe you me, I’ve done more than was necessary. But between those times of worry, there were times when we explored the country – when we were excited together about the next Christmas, or birthday, or vacation.

    Those were the good times, hearing John and Lauren squealing with joy when tucking tham in on Christmas Eve after I told them that I thought that I had just heard Santa’s bells on our neighbor’s roof. We grew up together – not just in age, but mentally and emotionally.

    My father said that if he had it to do over again, that he’d not worry so much – that things always seemed to work out just fine, and that all that worry was a waste of time.

    So don’t worry. Stanzi (Wang Fang) is coming to a large extended family. You both love her far more than most new parents who are too young to know what’s going on. Stanzi’s your first child, and our first grand-daughter. We’ll all grow up together, and we’ll have a wonderful time.